Self-awareness

Or: When not to do stuff.

Today was the perfect day to get out for a run, the sun was shining but there was a chill in the air, the small people were elsewhere, and I just really wanted to try a new way that looks longer but flatter.

But I forgot a few important things:

Like; that I had given blood yesterday evening, and as well as the pint I gave them, I also did an extra bit of bleeding, you know, just because I could. And like; that the pink small person spent the later part of the evening having a couple of casual vomits, you know, just because she could, and so my sleep was half listening to see if there were any more. And like; I had just driven three hours to drop the fully-recovered, box-of-fluffies pink small person to the Grandparents but retained the blue one as his head had imploded. 

But well, who thinks of that stuff, and anyway, does it really matter?

It turns out that it does! Even as I was running up the driveway (which is not steep) I was thinking that it seemed a bit hard. After that the next couple of kms are downhill, but by about 3km I was contemplating the slightly shorter loop alternative. By 4km I was reminding myself that change is okay and one of my goals at the moment is to be flexible, and at 5km I just turned around. At 6km I started walking because I knew that the last 3km would all be the uphill of the downhill that I started with, but if I want to get there, home is at the top of the hill.

And the whole time I just felt blurk.

Sometimes you feel like crap and you should do exercise*, and sometimes you feel like crap and you just shouldn't. 

Today I just shouldn't have, but because I had set myself this goal, I didn't stop to actually consider how I was feeling. I think I've written before about being self-aware, but more along the lines of state-of-mind; today I didn't check how I was physically feeling, which is just as bad.

The husband calls it situational awareness. I am not sure if this is a general thing or specific to his former military-ness, but it is something that we are constantly trying to get the small people to consider. If we are going to get kittens, maybe you should be aware of the state of your room, so they don't choke to death on your lego ... if I tell you that dinner is in 5 minutes, maybe you should get off that game and get a drink, or set the table even ... before you jump around on that, stop and think about what could possibly go wrong ...

But me? Maybe I should consider that if I have been doing tiring stuff, I could possibly save that longer distance until I'm not actually knackered. O, didn't think of that...

A lesson learned I think. Now I'm really tired, I think I'll go get some sleep.

* like last week when I had to escape the constantly-bickering and inherently-mess-creating small people before I killed them in an excess of blood and gore.